Recognizing the Signs and Listening to My Inner Voice

What's interesting is, I was clearly starting to see his patterns early on—the second-guessing, the evasive answers, the way he only engaged in conversations that benefited him, and the lack of genuine communication. These red flags were there from the beginning, but I chose not to engage with them. Instead of addressing my concerns, I retreated, avoiding the confrontations I knew were necessary.

It started early, probably because of the circumstances and because I didn’t want to feel alone. I was afraid to lose even the semblance of connection we had, so I held back. I knew deep down something wasn’t right, but I chose to ignore it, hoping things would somehow get better on their own.

As I look back, I can see that I was already aware of the issues, but I wasn’t ready to face them. My writing is full of repetition—the same thoughts, the same doubts—and what I’m now realizing is that these repetitive thoughts weren’t just random or purely the result of rumination or anxiety. They were signs—God’s way of telling me something I needed to hear, something I needed to act on.

Back then, I didn’t fully understand what was happening, but now I see that God was already guiding me. Those persistent thoughts and feelings were messages I was meant to listen to. And when I finally do listen and take action on these insights, the internal noise—the doubts, the unease—silences almost instantly. It’s like a weight lifted, a clarity that comes from trusting and following that inner guidance.

It’s humbling and empowering to realize that God was with me even in those moments, guiding me even when I felt lost and confused. Now, as I reflect on my journey, I’m learning to trust that voice more, to listen when it speaks, and to act on the truths it reveals. God was speaking to me all along, and I’m grateful that I’m finally learning to listen.

This journey has taught me the importance of tuning in to my inner voice—the one that nudges me in the right direction, even when I’m unsure. It’s about trusting that God’s guidance is always there, even in the midst of confusion and doubt. Now, I’m learning to be more attuned to that voice, to act with intention and confidence when I hear it, knowing that it’s leading me toward healing and growth.

And as I continue to reflect and grow, I’m also learning to extend grace to myself for the times I didn’t listen, the times I chose to stay silent or retreat. Every part of this journey is teaching me something valuable about who I am and who I’m becoming.

Thank you for being part of this journey with me, for supporting me as I continue to learn and grow. Your presence here means so much, and I hope that by sharing my story, you find some comfort, guidance, and inspiration in your own journey.

With love and gratitude.